Some people have been asking questions about the terms of house arrest. Well, it's different for each case. Mine however, are pretty strict. Like once I am home from work, I cannot leave my apartment. Now my PO said I can take my dog out, go smoke or take the trash out as long as they are within five min incriments. However, that gives me uneasy feelings. Like what if I am out there longer than 5 min (mind you the 5 min starts the min my foot is outside my door)? Or what if suddenly someone else becomes my PO and looks at my tracking records and decides I have broken the rules and I get thrown into jail? It terrifies me. Not only that, but speaking of terrifying, my phone line which is connected through my cable keeps going in and out. What if it is off line too long and that is considered a violation of the rules? I just wait for the cops or my PO to show up at my door all the time. Talk about a panic attack all the time. Back to the terms. According to my sheet of rules, yes they give you a list of rules, I am allowed 2 hours of grocery shopping which the day and time has to be cleared by the PO so they can put an extended GPS window in which allows me to go further than just work. I have to give a 48 hour notice of when this will be taking place. I'm allowed to do laundry so long as I put it in the washer then come back....laundry is in the back of my building. Same with drying. But again, I'm scared if I take too long to do laundry will someone show up and slap the cuffs on me?! My nerves are racked to the max that is for sure. I was not given a proximity of which I could freely roam. Mine is, behind my front door, that is it. Not complaining because I could be in jail, just sucks. Also my curfew is when I am home from work. No exceptions. Ugh!

We are on one car right now due to an accident which led to the car being totaled, so I am not sure how we are going to work this out yet because my wife's schedule can change at a moments notice and like I said I have to give a 48 hour notice of anything, grocery shopping (twice a month I think is the allowed amount, appointments, driving my wife to work, changes in my work schedule, etc.). So the nervousness of how this will work out is there and trying to come up with alternative plans and reach out to the 2 people who would be willing to help us. My wife finds out on the 16th if she is able to return to work yet b/c of her broken foot. We are praying she is able to because we no longer have the finances to keep us going.

One thing that really tends to annoy me is that I have tried contacting my PO several times now since being hooked up last Thursday to ask about me walking to work so my wife can have the car and how often I am able to do laundry, if we can move the monitor to another room and attempt to plug it into the wall unit to prevent it from going in and out all the time, and a couple other questions I have written down but cannot remember them right now. She hasn't returned one of my messages. So I am guessing I will have to wait till she comes back out to make sure I don't have alcohol or drugs in the house and to do another drug test next month, if that is even a guarantee that she will be showing up. I have heard and read countless nightmares about PO's that don't do the monthly check-ins and don't return phone calls so when you tell them of an appointment you are on edge when you go because you have no idea if they put that extended window in for you.  I'm really hoping my PO is not like that. But time will tell. I suppose I will just have to keep calling her and waiting for a returned call.

Another thing that really sucks is my ankle is so red and the skin is chafing on the back from where the anklet sits and rubs all day. Not to mention I cannot shave around it. I tried once and the razor caught a hint of the anklet and I panicked because there are little wires in the anklet that go the whole way around the band and connect into the box. If one of those wires were nipped I would have been accused of trying to cut the thing off. So I have to wear crew socks to protect my ankle which are a bitch to get on under the anklet and even harder to get off because naturally you are worried the anklet is going to come off. Yes, there is enough room for the anklet to turn from side to side and to get a sock under. Other than that, there isn't a whole lot of room. So wearing crew socks in the dead of summer and pants, to spare myself the embarrassment and questions, sucks major balls and you are always sweating uncontrollably.  Yes I could wear shorts and roll the sock down over the box, bur you can still see the box sticking out of the sock and then things look weirder and everyone naturally looks at something that looks different or that they have never seen out of curiosity.

Sleeping....challenging. You are always faced with the box jamming you in the other leg, or pushing against your ankle bone. Or getting comfortable is just down right impossible. The box gets caught on the covers too. Just all the way around uncomfortable. And I am not one that can sleep with socks on otherwise I would and just roll the sock down over the box to keep it more confined per se.

There are only so many things I can clean after work until bed, so many times I can work out, so many hours I can watch tv, so many games I can play on my phone, so many people I can talk to before I become bored out of my mind. An idle mind becomes a racing mind. The realization of essentially being told no sets in and like a kid when you are told no, you want to do it just because you're told no. Same thing applies here. The desire to go to the front of the building to smoke or just stand outside and get fresh air and look at the clouds become uncontrollable.  Then the anger sets in, the annoyance grows and the agitation increases. 

One of the hardest things by far is the strain and extra amount of work it puts on my wife. She is now responsible for everything I used to do, grocery shopping, running errands, taking Izzy (dog) out every 2 hours, letting the neighbors dog out every 2 hours, then spending 2 hours a day over there just to comfort her and give her attention, taking both the dogs out separately to play ball in the yard, doing the laundry, throwing the trash out and so on.  I know it is stressful and will become more stressful once she goes back to work but she has yet to complain because we both know the alternative of what could have been. We are grateful for the outcome and will deal with the struggles till May 2017. Once house arrest is over, the sharing of one car will be so much easier, I can go about life normally again without having to ask for permission to do daily living tasks.


It has not been one full week yet and my ankle hurts already from the extra weight and not being able to move it around too well. If i could just stretch it or get it to crack that would be amazing lol
I am trying to remain positive and hopeful that this goes as smoothly as possible and no power outages happen that could cause the cops to show up at my door.

Oh the stress that comes along with this whole new journey is something indescribable. But I will tell you what, I picked one hell of a wife who has not left my side over my terrible choice that has landed me where I am today, who does not complain one bit about having to do all the things I used to do or who remains calm when I am irritated. She has been by my side the entire time and I even told her she could leave and file for divorce and I would understand and give her everything. She wanted nothing to do with that option, but rather reminded me that for better or worse, we are in it together. HELL YEAH!!!! That's one amazing partner hands down!

AS you can tell today my spirits are a bit more lifted than they were from the last post, I hope they remain lifted and help these nine months fly by. If I just get pictures developed I can do my scrapbook, or materials needed for my family birthday board to complete I would have my mind occupied more and I think it would help pass the time faster especially on weekends when I am not working and the days seem to drag on. Hoping we can get an extra few dollars to make that happen!!!



Until next time....